In just a wink, it has already been a week since we first laid eyes on Charlize. Although the Caesarean did not really go as planned, most importantly the baby and mum is fine. From a birth weight of 2.2 kg, she is now 2.5kg.

The constant expressing of breast milk is now part of the daily routine. It appears she is too small to suckle directly from the breast. She now takes in 60 mls of milk almost clockwork every 3 hours.

Her jaundice did worry us initially. The visiting nurses urged us to bring the baby in earlier. So with little choice, we brought our appointment forward. At the same time, we tried to give her more sunlight. What a relief, when we got the blood results came back normal.

Oh yea, mum cried when baby Charlize was poked. I guess mum felt the pain when the tiny heels were poked for blood. The technicians were very professional and reassuring, which is commendable.

Charlize still sleeps most of the time, waking only for her feeds. I suppose she needs all the energy to grow.

But what a week it was. The new beginning has finally begun.

Spent the night at the hospital. Although the arrival of the baby should be a joyous occassion, I cannot help but feel a little reserved. The fact that my wife is about to undergo surgery is not a pleasant thought at all. All of these feelings underlining the fact that this baby is early at 36+ weeks.

Despite reassurances that the baby is term and the fact that I myself have told this to women umpteen times, skepticism rules. How sure can they be? Are they right? Afterall my baby is still small at about 2.2kg. Could we have gotten the dates wrong? Questions swirling like a whirlpool.

I know I have to trust the obstetrician that this is indeed the best and correct decision.

Knowing the perils of a Caesarean, the adage that ignorance is bliss holds so very true. Can I even be in the theater itself, even if the doctors allow me? Can I take the sight that my wife will be cut up layer after layer?

Our child, the still unknown face, will be seeing us today for the first time. I can only at this moment, imagine the joy that she will bring to my wife and I. I believe that this fact and only this fact alone is keeping both of us going. The love we are going to shower this child, after all the trials of pregnancy and surgery, will undoubtedly be immense!

God, help us and take care of us.